Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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