You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
