Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize