Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
