just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it hurts more in the daytime
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The struggles of a small town man whore
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