If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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