I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
