Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
