The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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