I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
