The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
