I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
