u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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