Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
