two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
