thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
