Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
