My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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