Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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