all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize