I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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