I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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