Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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