We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
