I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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