I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
