I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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