The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
