i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
