Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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