I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
