dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
