Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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