Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
