he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
