Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
