: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
