Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
