The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize