vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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