You can't motorboat a personality
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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