singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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