I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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