I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
