At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
