I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
