Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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