I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
