All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
