I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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