I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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