There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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