Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
