his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
