we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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