I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
