So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
