i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
