So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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