i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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