There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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