well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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