The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
