You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
