Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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