At least make sure they are 18
Why
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
