I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
